Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tom's Advice Column - Happy Fathers Day!

Mackenzie Anderson and Odin Oakley-Barnett Clean Wild Trout

Dear Tom,

My daughter, who has visited Ross Lake almost every year of her life,  just "graduated" from middle school.  When she walked out on stage I was stunned with her beauty.  I saw how she carried herself and how much in her I saw of her mother. I looked over at my wife and saw the same smile and glow.

And then I saw her new dress .... and how short it was ............... and all I could think of was what I was thinking when I was 14. 

My buddy sitting next to me, whose two daughters recently graduated from college looked at me out of the corner of his eye. 

Two simple sounds emanated from deep within my throat.

"UH- ohh!!!"

You would have expected a pal to render sympathy, instead over the next 30 minutes all I heard was "chuckle, chuckle, chuckle", a few snorts, one guffaw, and multiple "he he he's".

Do you have any advice from your lofty perch high in the North Cascades?

Bewildered in the Lowlands

Dear Pau  Bewildered,

When I went thru a similiar situation with my daughter, I obviously turned to many of my good friends for advice as well. Oddly enough, many of them had the same reaction as your good friend.

What got me through it was the internet. A friend gave me the name of a company back east that sold designer women's clothing for concerned parents.

I searched for months on the Internet but couldn't locate it. The futility of this research distracted me so much I forgot about everything else, and when that happened I realized I felt better, less stressed out.

The dot com out of Freeharbor, Maine was called something like L.L.BBurqua.

Bewildered -  for the next four years you control NOTHING!

Only your wife and daughter have control, and to be blunt - the only thing you can do is accept that.

So! Take up fly fishing like so many men before you!  Over the next 4 years you will end up with a quiver of rods, a few reels, dozens of wet flies, hundreds of dry flies, fancy waders, a float or two, designer polarized glasses, goofy hats with big bills stuck with flies, lures and maybe even a few beer bottle caps like those soccer fans.

I suggest you spend more time up on Ross Lake with your pals!

It is the only way to keep your sanity and your last shred of dignity!

What ever you do don't take any advice from friends that don't have daughters.

Good lord, be a man and run from this situation.

He he he!


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